This blog is pretty much wide open for comments, with the few parameters shown above the comment box. I am deleting every negative comment on this particular page. Go call me a nut or psycho elsewhere in this blog, if you must! :)
Prayers for you every day Ayla ! @ 5:40 I agree its the wrong flyer, it should only have info and police number and pic. The police number should be very large. Just saying !
Why remove my post? You don't like the reminder that you will meet your maker and have to explain to Him what you are doing, how you justify this to yourself? Like I said, I think His justice system is different from yours. This is a disgrace to Ayla.
Ayla you are so beautiful! I wish Aunt Selena would come to your thread and talk about how beautiful you are. I wish Aunt Selena would come here and defend you, sweet little Ayla. You deserve so much better BEAUTIFUL AYLA!
Anon 7:24 - Just for information purposes, a blog owner, or page administrator or anyone running a forum for discussion can and sometimes do delete comments. Although people have the right to free speech, the owner of the blog/forum/page has the right to censor what and how things are stated on their forum. What is allowed to remain is totally at blog owners discretion.
Freedom of speech would come into play if you opened your own blog where you would truly be free to say whatever you wished. In which case, you would be free to censor the responses of others at your blog.
We all have freedom of speech, that is true. But we do not have the right to say anything we want when the platform is owned by someone else. Try sending a letter to your local newspaper with profanity in it and see if your "freedom" of speech is edited out before publication! (If they publish it at all). Own the newspaper and you can say anything you wish!
lol. Anon 7:27 pm on 2/27- you don't understand what rights mean or in what ways they can be applied. This is a blog and no one is "breaking people's rights of freedom of speech". maybe you should study up.
Ayla, praying every day that goodness prevails and you are found and brought home.
Her best interest at heart? I can not understand that at all when people say that about that site. Their theory is that she is dead. How is that in Ayla's best interest ever?
ST, hello. I would like to share some of my memories of Ayla; my time spent talking with a friend. Ayla, a very old soul, was my friend before she was born. She is my friend now.
There is a lot I know about the events that affect her life, and I appreciate the opportunity to share some of those on your blog, with your permission.
When I write about the place that is after life (or found in a dream state), I refer to it as 'the other side of the fence' and not 'heaven.' I'm not a psychic or any other popular title that is commonly used, but I respect the Hanson's request to refrain from providing information obtained by less than physical interaction.
There was a photo on this website, but I don't see it now. When I saw the photo, Ayla playing with the toy kitchen, I found that my grieving wasn't over. It hit hard. I'm done grieving now; I no longer care. My family and friends, on the other side of the fence, no longer care. We MIND! So, here goes, I'm ready to share now - a little at a time.
About that photo - I would like to belatedly add a caption for it...
UPGRADE! Ayla using her toy kitchen to make dog food for Dawg! - excerpt from 'truth AND relevance', a book as yet unwritten.
That reminds me... I need to tell about the day Ayla took a nap under the toy kitchen - in the cabinet.
That reminds me... Anyone thinking I will avoid mentioning secrets to protect sensitivities of those involved... Well, I can't do that. Well, I don't plan on doing that... Well, clearly you don't know Ayla!
We (Ayla and I) tried a few things to avoid that leg muscle injury. It didn't work. Yet, I listened to her talk about a windsock. I plan to tell that story, too. I'm saying that if you have secrets that are relevant to LE, events that deserved a truthful explanation, then now is the time to remedy those deficits. There are too many secrets where the truth would have sufficed.
ST, my post may sound cryptic, but I wish to give fair warning to all before I begin sharing in earnest. If you delete my post, I will take that as 'permission not granted' and thank you anyway. I'll check back later in the week.
What in the hell is all of this rambling from this pogamen? I totally just lost any interest in coming to this website for anything other then an eye roll. What a waste of time.
Ayla sat, immobilized, inside her toy kitchen cabinet. As she was climbing out, she reached back and to her left to grab Dawg. It was a long reach and she doubled over herself with a half twist. There is a raised lip on the bottom of the toy cabinet that caught her foot. This is how she hurt her leg muscle.
We talked - we shared thoughts. I heard her words, but didn't understand until I was shown her situation. On the other side of the fence, my kinfolk and Ayla's kinfolk were busy making those connections possible. Our discussion was rather long. I asked who was watching her, why she couldn't have someone call a doctor, and tried to assess the extent of her injury. Her responses made me cry. With adults present, she chose to 'cross the fence' instead of asking for help from her guardians. At this point, through no fault of the adults involved, Ayla felt unloved and tried not to be a burden to others. This is one reason for sharing our experiences now.
I told her that she's just a baby and needs to act like one; cry crocodile tears, and shout 'owie, owie!' She wasn't ready to be so humiliated. She asked what advice I would give an adult. I said, 'Take 2 Tylenol with water, get some sleep, and call a doctor in the morning if it still hurts.'
She said, 'I am kind of tired. I don't have any Tylol. I don't have a phone. I don't know how to use a phone, anyway. I'll just take a nap.'
Five minutes later, Ayla said, 'I can't get to sleep.' I giggled, and said, 'I had that problem when I was young. Actually, I had that problem as a teenager. I guess I still have that problem sometimes. I learned counting sheep doesn't work sowell. Let's try something else.' I could hear her giggles.
I said, 'Reach in front of you and get 2 pretend Tylenol off your kitchen shelf. Fill a pretend cup with water. Don't tell me you can't swallow pretend pills.'
She was excited, and said, 'I can swallow pretend pills!'
I said, 'Okay. Pills, water; and while you settle into your nap, I'm going to tell you a nursery rhyme that teaches numbers and how to use a phone with just two numbers. Any time you see a hand, place your hand over it.'
She thanked me, and I wiped away a few more tears. I told her kin that I should find out where she is and see about this stuff myself, and that she deserves better. I heard dozens of other voices, all saying the same things... 'Told ya... Told you this wasn't right... Didn't I tell ya?' That was Ayla's kinfolk on the other side of the fence, including some of the bravest warriors and Lords. Ayla is considered their equal - for good reason; which is also why they would not take action without her permission.
I recited '10 Little Monkeys' and projected a vision of a cell phone with a finger pressing 9 1 1 each time 'Mama called the doctor.' By the time 6 monkeys were left on the bed, I could sense Ayla falling asleep; but a rush of sadness followed. I asked if she was okay. Her last soft and gentle thought, before going to sleep, 'I miss my Mom.'
She sought a healer as if she were still a disembodied soul. She found sleep as an exhausted toddler. That's improvement.
That reminds me... you'll understand Ayla better after I write about the day she wouldn't get out of the laundry basket!
Ok, I know this has been up for awhile and I was just rereading stuff. . . these rantings of pogman come across to me as a child molester explaining how he molests little children. . .this is very sick and I can't believe you have been letting this person write on your blog. WTF
@Anonymous 14:33, read your own words, or must I translate them, too?
You say '...these rantings of pogman come across to me as a child molester...' and I still question, 'What, exactly, makes you think this was written by a child molester or has anything to do with causing harm to a child?'
You say '...explaining how he molests...' and I replied, 'Your insight sucks - I'm not a man.' There's really no need to explore your insight any further than that. My revelation of my gender simply allowed you to broaden your uneducated horizon and improve your rumor. Before you commented, this page already contained a post that revealed my gender. Maybe a third read is required? What else did you miss? Or add?
Now, you compounded your ignorance with an uneducated response in addition to spelling/grammar errors in an assessment that doesn't permit such luxury. This is how I know you are not a professional, not even a teacher. At this point, it's only fair to say that your comprehension is outclassed and overmatched. Do you yield?
I know you must have the last word, so I'll copy this thread to the page Obscure set up for such things - click on the rightmost button that says 'Find it here...' I'm 'it'.
There is a refreshing place on the other side of the fence, between wake and sleep, where I find solitude and stillness. It's been a long time since I've seen anybody in this place, until one day...
I heard a faint 'oh!' I opened my eyes and saw the faint figure of a small female child. She was apologizing for the intrusion and claimed to be lost.
I asked, 'Where did you come from, and where were you trying to go?'
She said, 'I just thought about going home, and here I am! I don't know what happened.'
I said, 'These are dangerous times. It's not good to travel alone. Tell me where home is and I'll take you there.'
She said, 'No, thank you. No bother.'
I narrowed my eyes and looked at her anew. I grinned and asked, 'Is this a test? Why do you show your self as a child?
She showed her self as my dear friend, *****, the creator of this rejuvenating place. She said, 'No test. I really didn't mean to come here; it just happened. I was thinking about 'home, sweet home' and thought it would be good to go someplace safe and ponder my troubles for awhile.'
I said, 'I see why. You stopped here naturally. This pond is the safest place to be right now, and it is a place of your own making.'
She smiled and said, 'You're in the deep end! Nobody goes in the deep end, except you!'
I smiled and said, 'And you. And nobody says 'no bother' anymore, except you. Since we're both here, is there a problem I can help with?'
She was silent for a time, and then said, 'I have guilt.' She quickly explained the complicated reasons for why she chose her new life, and how her emotions and actions are countering her original intentions. I kept feeling the need to pick my jaw up to close my mouth. She's a baby, a toddler! Babies shouldn't have intentions! I'm leaving out her specific examples, but the guilt came from 'liking' the father's household, maybe more than the mother's household. The guilt came from enjoying a different lifestyle and expectations.
Everything was so easy; the days flew by so smoothly and carefree. She had nothing to do, except play. She contributed nothing significant to this household - all according to her.
When she finished the comparisons, I was speechless. I said, 'Huh.'
She moaned, 'I thought that, too.'
I said, 'It seems to me that you got lemonade, and you still have your lemons, too. What's wrong with that?'
She said, 'Huh.'
I said, 'On one side you have city life, on the other side you have country life. It's like the song from Donnie and Marie Osmond - which you missed. They sang a duet where Marie likes country music and Donnie likes rock 'n' roll.
Even though they sing two genres, they can sing about them in one song.'
She said, 'I like that.'
I giggled, and said, 'You remind me of a smiling purple sock monkey when you're with your mother, and a free range chicken when you're with your father.'
She said, 'I don't know if that's to like or not!'
a free range chicken when you're with your father.' ............ twista placed a chicken on the shrine heap on violette ave. it was filmed by abc and is in archive for a future possible crime tv show. the video is still online. it's one of twista's best cameos as a greiving mother.
@velvet glove, I really have no idea what you're saying. twista? Readers do know what a free-range chicken is, right? I expected my stories would attract dirt, but are you saying Trista put a chicken on Ayla's memorial and you think it is because of my writing on this blog? If so, wow.
@velvet glove, I shouldn't leave it like that. Thanks for pointing this stuff out; I really appreciate it. Several commentors have discussed 'chickens' on several pages in several contexts on this blog. I'm not so special. Also, Trista made a few comments using the word 'chicken', more like phrases beginning with the word 'chicken' followed by an assortment of '...'s'. I'm not getting the 'visions of grandeur' vibes that your comment suggests. Those visions are best left to ABC, CBS, and RealityCrimeTV - all a sure place that I don't watch. To puff on the hammered glue, any one of the 'chicken' stories on this blog would be therapeutic to Trista's needs. Therefore, I doubt she has read any of them and literally placed chicken for her own symbolic meaning. I continue to hope she keeps trying to get healthy. That was Ayla's greatest concern.
i was meerly pointing out that Trista, whose own moniker on myspace is Twisted Sista, placed a chicken on the 'shrine' at Violette Ave and it was filmed and archived for a future possible crime tv show. if you watch the footage, (it is online), you might note she milks her performance for all it's worth, it's just the first of many 'over exaggerations' as the J$A people call her over the top tabloid theater. obviously, the stuffed animal chicken was placed there before your comment.. how else could i have pointed it out? she put the chicken there when she had finished speaking with Waterville PD, it might even have been the very day Ayla was reported missing, though i can't recall at the moment. at any rate, it was verrry early on.
you mentioned a chicken..i thought you might like to know where i saw one in Ayla's 'story'.
isn't there supposed to be some real life significance in your stories? why else are you sending them to PD as 'tips'? if your stories are simply for entertainment purposes without any real life connections then i don't get sending them to the police? attract dirt? wow. i sure hope you aren't referring to me.
@velvet glove, thank you for more explanation. I don't read other blogs, watch videos, or visit personal sites. You refer to things that I don't know firsthand. Early on - I was in the hospital and didn't get news of anything. Your first post made me think Trista added a real store-bought in-the-package chicken to the pile. That's disgusting. But... If I thought really bad things about the father of my missing child, there's no telling what I might have left/done. I thought, early on, Trista and Father Ronald were told not to come to Waterville. I don't send these stories to LE as tips. I sent the framework for what I've seen and believe. I have not been contacted by LE for any further information or explanation. That's a shame, but I will persistently encourage others to do the same. I do have to say that my 'chicken phrase' occurred first, because Ayla wasn't missing when we spoke about her 'guilt'. dirt - no, I am not referring to you. Never. Imagine the Trista scene now, the way it seemed to me. TV dirt.
Ayla decided to press buttons with her caregivers, putting them to the test. She wanted to know what would happen if she misbehaved. She would take a stand (she sat) and not give in (she didn't get out) when she was told to do something (anything) else. She climbed into the laundry basket and ignored the adults when each told her to do something else - like play with the other kids.
Ayla insisted that it wasn't a laundry basket, but she didn't know what it was called. It looked like a laundry basket to me, sitting on a table of some sort - kitchen or end table - with Ayla as single occupant along with some of her belongings.
While the female adults politely asked her to get out or go do something else, they did not follow up with any other action or words. Father came home. One of the females talked with him about how he needs to be more involved with Ayla. He is like any other individual. Once he knows expectations, he has no problem meeting others' needs. After listening to the tale of one reticent daughter, he thought about his approach to the situation. While you may say that the problem didn't need to be over-dramatized, you would be wrong. I applaud Ayla's father for what he did. He won her.
He decided to use reverse psychology, and told Ayla not to get out. He countered everything the women had told her to do, and told her to stay right there.
Ayla promptly got out. Her father reached down to pick her up, and she was prepared for something - a spanking, a beating, something. He knelt down and sat her on his knee. He said, 'What am I going to do with you?... We're two of a kind.' [paraphrasing]
Ayla reported back to me soon afterward. She wanted me to know that everything is okay. I was shown what happened and what was said. Ayla said, 'See? He doesn't know what to do, either! Mom and Dad are the same! Neither one knows what to do. They both need me! They both need my help!'
She was right. This beautiful lady, now toddler, defined 'love' and effectively ended that circular discussion ages ago. I don't know why I didn't see it. Love - satisfying the need to be needed is it's essential core.
Our next, and last, get-together at the 'pond' was just as memorable as the first. In the meantime, my kinfolk were teaching Ayla's kinfolk about how they watch over family, what can and cannot be done, and offered any advice that might be helpful. Obadiah, a Master Teacher, was instrumental in explaining procedures and protocols. A respect for others and regard for consequences is essential. He had willing students, who already had a sound base in ethics. This is more information than what is necessary for anyone reading this post. So...
Ayla and I enjoyed chatting about how everything is different, yet the same. I asked her if she got an etch-a-sketch yet. That's an exception to sameness; it demands first-time perfection. At least with a stick and dirt, you can erase only the mistake. The etch-a-sketch forces you to erase more than the mistake. We talked about yo-yos, hoola hoops, slinkies, spring soap bubbles, summertime water pistols, on and on.
Ayla started talking about windsocks. She knew things about windsocks that I'd never heard of before - history, what the shapes and colors symbolized, on and on. I said, 'That's more than I could ever want to know about windsocks!'
She said, 'That's how I feel about it, too.'
I said, 'TMI... too much information. It's like a curse these days.'
She said, 'Speaking of curses, what do you know about the tooth fairy?'
I sat, speechless, unsure which direction to take this discussion. Then I thought about my own words - TMI. I thought about Obadiah's teachings... there is no one age to share information. If children ask a question, they deserve an honest answer. I responded, 'I thought the tooth fairy was for children losing their baby teeth. You're getting yours now. Why do you ask?'
Ayla said, 'Exactly! They say the tooth fairy pays money for baby teeth when they come out. Everyone thought I was going to lose a tooth, but I didn't, and I didn't get any money for a hurt tooth. I wondered about that. What does the tooth fairy do with all those teeth?'
I shrugged.
She said, 'I think I figured it out. The tooth fairy must be recycling. He collects the old teeth, cleans them up, and gives them to other children. It's the only thing that makes sense to me.'
[She told me an old tale about a man in a forest that was called a 'shoe fairy'. Even though I had heard the tale - a grieving man that lost a child (lock-jaw) and worked to ensure no other child died for lack of hard-soled shoes. I had never heard the tale in such detail before.]
Ayla asked, 'Would you happen to know the tooth fairy?'
I said, 'Not that I'm aware of.'
She said, 'If you find someone that does, can you ask them to deliver a message for me?'
I said, 'Yes.'
She asked, 'Can you help me write one?'
I said, 'What do you want me to write?'
She said, 'I'm sorry you are cursed [pronounced cur - sed]. Someone has made a mistake. You are giving me the wrong teeth. These teeth are too big for me. I don't want the message to sound mean or rude. I just want the fairy to know there is a mistake.'
I said, 'I understand. As soon as I get back home, I'll write it down. If you're correct, you may be seeing the tooth fairy pretty soon. There's a spot opening up for the next tooth!'
I told her about a tooth fairy memory of my own. I got an IOU, signed by the tooth fairy. I was so proud of that little piece of paper. Anybody can get a coin, but how many children does the tooth fairy trust to delay payment? My mother mentioned the tooth fairy was coming back around one night and told me to put the IOU under my pillow. I was upset, and hid the note in my dresser drawer. I could hear noises in my room that night, but couldn't wake up enough to tell the tooth fairy that the IOU is better than a coin. The next morning, the IOU was gone, and I found a nickel and a dime under my pillow.
I told Ayla not to be disappointed if the tooth fairy was in and out before she woke up.
About that windsock... Was Ayla talking about a book? Did someone read a book about windsocks to Ayla? Was there ever a windsock installed at any home she lived in? I was just wondering. It's this type of thing that you don't really stop to ask about, yet it became relevant.
I got a message from Ayla soon after - delivered by messenger, not a projection from Ayla. Her voice, her words, a three-second picture, infused with her emotion, and the ability to send a response.
Her message - 'I got a doodle! I figured it out! It's not the same! It's OK to make mistakes. Nobody notices until you have too many mistakes. That's when you erase everything and start over! - part one of two parts.
I was in the process of researching for an argument against genetically modified crops. Sometimes it's really rough to turn that mental hat around. The picture was appreciated; Ayla sitting at a table and studiously focused on something that looked like an etch-a-sketch, with other children active in the background. I smiled, and said, 'Part two.'
Her message - 'I talked to somebody new. He says he knows you, and called you Gramma. He said to tell you to make with the tens, Gramma. - part two of two parts.
It was one of those moments that raised up my spirit. But, communication has proven dangerous. I don't want to encourage her, but I don't want her to think they're an enemy. I began to compose a reply; strike emotion and kiss - keep it simply stupid. If a messenger is intercepted, it's better to shoot the messenger.
And then my messenger spoke. Messengers don't speak, but this one did. He asked, 'Oh, you would wound me? Certainly you don't think a little feather such as your self would kill me, do you? I can't wait to see what you shoot me with. Is this a test? I'm ready; take your best shot.' He is my Uncle Cole (and resides on the other side of the fence). I'll skip over our pleasantries, personal discussion, and move forward with this. He took my advice about how it's better to learn a business from the bottom up, so he accepted the role of a charmed mechanization. Nobody would ever think to start at that level, but Cole did. As an added benefit, I got my cake, ate it, and it cost me nothing. He knew what emotions and pictures needed to be imparted, and when.
My return message - I need to go back to school and get smarter before I see you again! I never would have figured it out. - part one of two parts.
My return message - 'Make with the tens -it's like saying Aloha. You can also say this - Don't flatten yourself. Close the door on these people, do it now.'
Ayla understood.
[I left this interaction out of the earlier post because of mentioning the the 3-second photo.]
oops. just one 'the' required on that last line. I did the 'double the' on an earlier post. Since they're spread out over time and space, the mistakes should be OK, as is.
as you might know windsocks are used at the airport to tell a plane how to land, what the crosswinds are like so they can make a good landing approach and get their wing flaps right. (not a pilot obviously). the airport close to violette ave was mentioned in the first reports of Ayla's disappearance as a possible location for searching for her body. it was considered a prime location due to proximity, easy access and secluded nature.
@velvet glove, thank you, again. I saved your comment to consider your words for awhile. Your wording tugged at a memory. Do you know who actually searched the beeline area from Ayla's home to the airport? FBI or State or 3rd party?
It's not the windsock, there's parts of each story I didn't tell - the windsock is like a connector. My Q's were meant to be rhetorical, but I didn't finish the story to explain that. Here we go, cryptic again... Why was #5 in the car?
@ Seriously? Apr 18, 2012 12:37 PM who posted... "You are seriously demented pogamen...Ayla never slept in that kitchen...wow I can't believe people are actually believe this junk!"
I like that name - Seriously?
Thank you for making me smile. As the events of Ayla's abduction unfolded, I used that word a lot. I should have counted the number of times I said things like that... Are you serious? Really? You gotta be joking? Somebody is yankin' on ya! On and on, over and over... Did you know that there is a Lord named Sirius?
In the place that we meet, one day I heard, "Why does she keep calling my name?" In this place, distance and time are not the same. Nobody was actually 'here', yet the words were spoken with such power that it felt as if Sirius was standing beside me, in my home. Then I found myself repeating, 'That's not what I meant!' I heard, 'What do you mint?' I avoided idle chat and redundant questions after that.
So... am I seriously demented, or jokingly demented? I told Sirius there's a new mint liquor that he should try if he gets a chance to live as a human. This is what must be done if they wake up; they need a life before they take a look around. I think your comment is contrived! It conveniently opened the door for me to tell you a little bit more of the story! Is that you, Sirius?
Another time, I would have asked you to pog with me, since you seem so sure of yourself, but you would lose on just one point. Ayla sure did take a nap in that toy kitchen. Check your caregiver facts. I have zero doubt about that. In fact, after her nap, she tried to ask her father to recite the rhyme because she forgot some of the words. I know he checked her bed for monkeys. I'm not saying anything else (I'm failing the straight-face test - more about that BS later). She had forgotten some of the words, and was trying to get the right words from him after that nap. Honestly, I don't know the copyrightable words of the nursery rhyme, but this is what I taught her... 10 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head, mama called the doctor and the doctor said, no more monkeys jumping on the bed. 9 little...
Seriously? Can you sense that I am okay with whatever you chose to think of me?
I thank you for allowing me to share my fondest memories of Ayla. It isn't something that I would normally do, but this is hardly normal circumstances. I feel better... healthier... given the ability to share the best of times with others that care about her. I know this because you took the time to read my ramblings without criticism - it's certainly not well-written.
I'm going to need to tell the rest of the story, but I prefer not to do that on Ayla's page.
I can honestly say last night ws the first time I have read any of your story and i am very interested in hearing more. Could you tell me where I might find more of it. I am very touched with how you speak of Ayla.
I had to read my own words, again, to ensure that I didn't give the false impression that I would write a book about Ayla. My words are not misleading. There will be a book about Ayla ('truth AND relevance'), but I am not the author. It hasn't been written yet, but I have already read it. Stories of my interaction with Ayla were not there, because I was too busy to share. The book had more questions than answers, because there would be no closure for another 20 years. I have some of those answers.
We are there for each other when one stumbles. We look for each other when one passes. We raise each other up when one is weakened. We move on to the next crisis without expectations or acknowledgement of any kind.
Don't you see? We are all contributing to this book by posting online. There really is an author, but he may not know it yet. The author will know what to do with my words.
You don't need to go anywhere else to read the rest of my story. The JSTL administrator has given me permission to post on this website. To date, none of my posts have been deleted or altered. I pog right here, in public.
Now that I have 'outed' Jude on another page, I'll come back to Ayla's page (later this week) to write about our conversation about Jude.
I'm confused... Who is Jude and on what page did you 'out' them? Thank you again for sharing with us. Do you mean to say that we will not have closure in Ayla's case for another 20 yrs? The thought of that makes my heart hurt.
On our last meeting at the pond, a messenger was sent to find Peter (yes, the apostle) - the man over mind. Ayla and I were needed, and nobody could wade into the pool without suffering from the charms' affects. Peter got knee-deep before he returned to shore. Still, I felt his presence, and could tell that he was trying to keep a secret from me. I didn't pry, and Ayla and I went to shore, too. I reassured Peter that his secret was intact. He told us how sure he was of his own mind, and now not so sure.
Ayla got a laugh out of all that. I was forbidden to return to the pond until further notice. Ayla was 'politely forbidden' to return, unless the need urged her to do so, or her father (of her soul) requested it of her. Ayla thought Peter got it all backwards. She's the kid, I'm the adult. I told her that we get our lives handed to us in an upside-down manner, sprinkled with plenty of backwards; but when she is older, she'll understand.
We returned to Ayla's house and I spoke to Jude for a moment. He said he would like to speak with Ayla and asked me to pave the way for him. I told him to be prepared for a smart one. He said, 'It's been a long time since I told my stories.'
I said, 'Leave out the horse story.'
He asked, 'Which one?'
I said, 'Now that you mention it... All of them.'
Ayla and I sat outside for awhile. Jude and his companions were already there and working overtime. I pointed in their direction and asked Ayla, 'What do you see?'
She saw a bird, a tree, the sun was bright, and clouds were too low. I told Ayla there is someone that would like to speak with her, with her permission, of course. I asked, 'Has anybody told you about Jesus, yet? Do you know how important he is?'
Ayla's usual smile faded into the most solemn, devout, serious face I have ever seen attached to a toddler. 'Staid' is the word. She used this face and nodded her head, just once, while saying, 'Yes, I know about Jesus Christ.' I nearly forgot what I planned to say; so goes the struggle to keep a STRAIGHT FACE!!!
I turned and sat beside her so that her demeanor wasn't controlling my attention.
I said, 'That's good. That'll make this easier. Before Jesus was born, the angels told his Mother to name him Jesus. He had another really long life before that. It's good he got a new name otherwise we might not know where one life ended and the other began. Before He was named Jesus, His name was Jude. It would have been easy to mix up stories because there were so many people named Jude at the time.
Ayla's face lit up. She said, 'I know Jude! Jude rocks! He told me a lot of stories about all the ways to cross a river! Catch a rhino; Christians later.'
I asked, 'Did he tell you about anagrams, mnemonics, and how every little thing is a reminder for a complete story?'
Ayla said, 'Yes.'
I asked, 'And where does Jude stand?'
Ayla replied, 'Somewhere to the right or left of middle.'
I asked, 'Ayla, did he tell you about the horse?'
She shook her head, and said, 'No'. She thought about it for a moment and then said, 'No, no horse.'
I smiled.
Later, I thanked Jude for not sharing the horse stories with Ayla, and asked why he didn't wait on that. He said, 'There's no reason.'
19 yrs 7 mos from May 2012, subject to change at any moment
@ anyone reading
I'm still looking for the right words to finish the next post - I should have marked the last post 'one of two'. Defining 'right words' - This is not about me, my family, or friends; it's about Ayla. Sometimes it's difficult to separate the events and still have the words make sense. Yet, sometimes the separation is found by choosing the proper 'three words or less'. I'll work on it this weekend.
Well, some of this story is about me, my family, and friends. It's just mostly about Ayla. ABR. If this is what it takes to get real people real help, I'm prepared to share why ABR got the full-service, luxury treatment of individual attention from so many Lords and companions on the other side of the fence. [Please don't make me call them angels.] The Boss was involved, too. [Is this a secret? He prefers the title, 'Overseer', not God.] I just want you to realize that there is a reason - a big reason; a really big reason.
So... When Jude said 'There's no reason', that got my wheels churning, my claws sprouting, and a low scimitar growl started growing in the deepest recesses of my gut. It's best not to say anything until the mood passes, so I mentally tossed it around, trying to find context for his words - spoken so nonchalantly.
When I was able, I finally asked, 'Would you please care to explain to me why there is no reason? I asked for your expertise; is that not enough reason?'
Jude asked, 'What's your problem? What are you talking about?'
I said, 'It's what you said! What do you mean by that - there is no reason?'
Jude thought about it and asked, 'Are you talking about when you first got here? The first thing I said?'
I said, 'Yes.'
He asked, 'And you're just now getting around to asking about it?'
I growled, 'Yes.'
He asked, 'Have you heard a word I've said since then?'
I said, 'No. If there's no reason, then why should I?'
Jude could have ridiculed me a thousand times over for what I said, and he didn't. Maybe, if the situation wasn't so serious, he might have poked fun - and maybe not.
Jude said, 'That's not what I said. I said there's no raisin.'
Another back-and-forth conversation between Jude and me-dummy took place, because I still didn't know what he meant. He ended it by saying, 'I'm not going to provide sex education for you; ask your boyfriend.' Okay. I did, much later. I still don't see what that has to do with sex education, even though I had it explained to me several times. Jude was saying that Ayla had pre-natal difficulties and he stayed with her until the lack of an umbilical cord connection could be corrected. So, the raisin is the part of the cord that dries up and falls away from the newborn. Please don't ask me about the sex education aspect.
Anyway, this is how Jude found time to tell his stories to Ayla before I met her, and how Ayla met Jesus. It's confusing, I know, they are one - but not the same. Ayla knew there was something wrong with Trista, and asked for help. Ayla was right, the damage to Trista's soul is extensive and severe. The damage occurred a very long time ago, during a war that still rages in some places. She endured torture of a type that I can't speak or write about. Her bravery leaves me humbled - awestruck. On the other side of the fence, there is not one warrior that doesn't feel the same.
On the other side of the fence, a long time ago, Trista was Ayla's daughter. That is the relationship between the two souls. They are also a remarkable couple, because Ayla chose to maintain the mother-daughter bond when it became fashionable to sever that bond in favor of the father-child bond. All of these things occurred before my existence. There are a rare few [viable souls] that remain as old as that, mostly due to war. I'm telling you this, because we were unable to locate Ayla's father (of her soul) on either side of the fence. These are some of Uriel's people. They've been gone a long time, fighting. We encourage them to make themselves at home here. If for no other reason, it's time to get a new birthday suit!
Here's the other part of what we've been trying to tell people... Ayla, and many others, lived long before Jesus was born and died. Some of them know him as Blessed Jude. As they learn, the big lesson that is resoundingly clear - man killed Jesus. Think about that. Is that TMI?
Pogamen or whatever you call yourself you should seek psychiatric help. . . I agree that you sound like a child molester.. maybe you do know more about Ayla. . . .
No. The understanding is so complex, and this blog is the wrong forum for such discussions.
Only 'yes' if you accept life after life; and therefore, man could not have killed Him at all. That argument fades with man's revisional history - you only have one life to live.
Middle ground thinking - They didn't want His son. If you hear a voice, or receive a vision, do you know who you're talking to? The answer is resoundingly - 'no'. He was supposed to change something for a different outcome, but He thought prophecy was meant to be. It is not.
'Based on Jesus' discussion with Ayla.'
This is just too complex to explain His words and emotions - mostly emotions.
Understanding, not the Forum. Your words lead me to the question. Just trying to understand the Spirit of you words ! I have seen your Cole, He spoke to me and said "you have to go back ", Years ago ! I have some "thought images", Your words are helping me to understand them ! Thank you for sharing. Later
Yes. He said that. Cole is the name I gave him for public use. Everything you heard and saw involves ABR. This page is the proper forum for that. It's been so long, I'll try to remember the whole discussions.
To tie loose ends on the first topic - Jesus and Ayla, this is what He said to her...
She is right! You are a smart one. [Ayla blushed.] You're helpful, too. [Ayla smiled.] In fact, you helped me figure out something I've been thinking about for a long time now. [Ayla asked, 'I did?'] Yes. You are good at figuring things out. That is one of your many talents. [Ayla said, 'Thank you.] Don't thank me, I should be thanking you.
Unknown Soul, we couldn't find ABR's father (of her soul). She would have to regress or have someone care for her to hold her gains (evolution). It is my domain to authorize an adoption on the other side of the fence. Cole was not approved lightly. He said he was willing to die for her, and I did order him to prove it. He did. He went back and lived a life as human. He did much more than that for her.
"you have to go back" Do you have illness? Did that apply to you also? Cole doesn't make meaningless statements. If so, please take care of your health.
"you have to go back" Ayla was out of body, and stayed with Cole because of what was happening to her. I had no intention of leaving her there alone, but I got sick.
Years ago - thought images... most everything I see is pre-knowledge, and still we can't get ahead of the crime. You could very well be her abductor, and it would not change my comments to you one bit.
@ mamamen, Not abductor, Just an unknown Soul who received spiritual incite that a little girl would be brought to my attention, just before I got sick in October. Someone must have spoken the words in October to set that in motion. This little girl came with an ELK. (Then in December! "Ayla".) My first near death in this life was at age 9, I awoke different, I did not understand it until I was 12, then I knew I was being lead by spirit. Still growing . " Crazy " I'll own it also, I am different and know it and many cannot understand, but some do !
@Unknown Soul, the abductor vistits and posts on this site, too, so please don't take offense at my comment. It doesn't change my words; I'm sure your understand. If I remember something in perp's possession, I make sure to mention it within my posts. This way, perp can remove 'said' item so that LE can't get a search warrant. That Kindle Fire had to hurt! Perp will be moving soon (come closer, said the spider to the fly).
ELK - I saw enormous black 3-D letters. I'll have to think about it. I had too much information, but I don't think this one has happened yet. Meditate, mentally focus on the strongest image and let it unwind for you. Don't force it, don't try to interpret, don't assume anything, and never think it is personal or symbolic. Next, don't become fixated on discovery to the point of neglecting the ones you love.
ELK - mother is a computer graphics designer home worker, unsure about own business or employed. Father works regular job(LE? or legal beagle?). Father will read your comments and take precautions. Warning: Father, don't stifle your daughter with a heavy hand of protection. This is 2012. I couldn't bring all the 'info' back by myself. I let go of children info that had the most time between now and future. Can you remain diligent without warring with her? Cole chose 'Unknown Soul' because of a crossroads with ELK. I don't know what the connection is right now, but it may be this website.
Unknown Soul -> When children pass away/cross over, there's a few questions asked before checking lineage. Is this you? ...
Question - When were you born? Answer - Yesterday!
Was that you? I think that was you. If so, there's no near death about it. You did die. As with most infants, unless there's too much damage, you were 'put back' a little bit. They don't know much about age of children, lucky answer for you at the age of nine!
@ mamamen "Thought Image's" Ayla has appeared in the Green Pj"s in Dec., then in different clothing in Jan.,pants and shirt, she was missing her sock ! She also appeared in a pink bunny suit with wings. She shows a camp, with Elk head over door? Maybe inside over mantle? Some of the image's are of creatures unknown to me. Always near Ayla.
Lineage - that is when I met your cole, was seeking lineage, mine cannot be found ! Unknown Soul
All familiar. I only saw Ayla in a white t-shirt and couldn't tell if she wore pants, shorts or none. I saw one bare foot, and not the other. The white t-shirt was several sizes too big for Ayla. The t-shirt came from the perp.
I want to say - continue if you are healthy, because you are on the right track - but not for Ayla. I should say - please stop, because your lineage is with Cole, but it was not. He told me I wasn't gonna believe this. I'll spend some time pondering the ramifications. There's something else you should know. pogamen@hotmail.com
@Anonymous who says... U people are truly fricken nutty!!
Yes. Thank you. I accept full nuttihood for myself and anyone else who dares contribute to a larger picture. Anonymously sharing this aspect of my life with an anonymous public on back pages of a stranger's blog is TRULY (u word) the nuttiest thing I've ever done. (I refute the fricken, though. I don't know what it means.)
It doesn't make any difference, one way or the other, so it's best to suit myself - and I have NEED. I've been waiting for you to get here. I need help, and this is serious.
Please read this and offer your best non-nutty advice. Please.
Here's the problem... I've seen hundreds of crimes committed, some against children and some not. I've seen them in detail. I take the info and mentally wrap it around the individual's initials. There's too much info to write down, and some new details emerge as crossroads are met. Soon, there will be another high profile abduction take place. I know the child's name, some of the circumstances, poor approximate date based on observations, and unknown specific location. It takes place in broad daylight, and two children are stolen - not one.
What would you, a non-nutty observer, do? Who would you tell? Would you then be at fault for causing the abduction? How would you tell (if you would tell)? Or would you go about about your life as if still blissfully ignorant?
I don't need sugar coating. Throw me those nuts anyway you want.
I have read this page top to bottom and you certainly have my attention. As to the question if you knew something was going to happen and to whom what would you do with the information. The knowledge of something such as an abduction and knowing that if society was open minded this could be prevented. However if you say something then you either look like your crazy or guilty. Either way you loose cause nothing get looked into until after the event takes place. Then you end up the number one suspect when it does happen. It ends up a no win situation for you or your family.
CUL8TR, thank you, but I'm insured against risk to myself and family. If you care to make it a mental exercise, move deeper and closer to the nexus, then consider this -> '... if society was open minded this could be prevented...' Do you see how that statement is not true? We do have an open-minded society, very open. Hint - if someone can see this, what else can they see? 'Oh, shit! There's something I gotta take care of!' I hear that a lot. Posting on this blog - I call it the 'fingernails across the chalkboard approach'. Anybody? Anybody without nuts got advice?
Mamamen, I believe you should not be so concerned about yourself and how others will judge you. Let LE know your story. Oh btw...I found your one eyed dog. :). If you wish to know where she is, comment here and I will tell you who has her.
Anonymous, thank you, but I really need no-nuts. I'll probably pre-report the next big crisis to FBI. Based on their performance, it doesn't give me warm fuzzies. Based on the TV interview with the Anchorage FBI Missing Persons 'Clerk', it gives me cold chills. I think the most I'm going to get out of it is the right to tell them, 'Told ya so.' On the other side of the fence, they have no crossroads to work with to rescue the two children once there. Understand? All-knowing all-seeing eye dog - I don't need to know where he is. I added another comment to that page. I hope LE checks it out - TJP. It has to stop. Ayla's deeds may be enough. Anonymous, there is only one soul that has any right to judge me. In His absence, the right falls to my Father. I'm not worried about what people think of me. In the past, I've tried the direct approach with LE - boy, a new bundle of unbelievable stories. Even eye-witness (no spirit stuff) accounts, they only wanted to hear what they already wanted to know about. Can you believe that?
@the space between, I don't know anything about Tarot cards and readings, except that it's more complicated than what most people think. I did look at the reading (last week?) and copied the text to a file so I can study it in detail. I haven't done that yet. Are you able to do another reading for Ayla, or does it work that way?
I was just wondering... Why do you use tarot cards? You ARE an empath. I guess I don't understand, but it's your business. You have familial support willing to gather the information for you. They don't need to understand, they only need to let your question guide them to the answer. Your support team is limited by the language of tarot and it's significance to you. They aired a grievance about having to break time for a reshuffle when they get the order upside down. I told them the tarot cards are like training wheels on a bicycle for you, and they should continue with the card language until you no longer require them.
mamamen - I don't use tarot. Someone posted a link to that site somewhere else and I found that particular reading interesting... in part because there was a Michael mentioned here awhile back. I have had other cards read for me before, and I've been to mediums several times over the years... and I find that what an intuitive person comes up with is typically clearer with the less information I give. I have, personally, found mediumship more valuable. At times I have been empathic, but I asked to not have that sense anymore as I was getting my insights mixed up with my worries. My first experience with a medium was a woman of about 90, amazing - she said I was a healer.
@the space between -> Now I see clearly! Well, the saying goes... use 'em or lose 'em! I'm not one for whiny complainers. It's good that you don't use your talents - I chastised your familial support group and told them to commit to a tarot reader! ROFLMAO Now I understand their comments/complaints. You still confuse me, but I can use a little less understanding right now.
Pogamen...you have well and truly captured everyone's attention. Your words offer connection, and hope. I have had many spiritual experiences and like unknown soul I had a near death experience at 9 which left me feeling...like someone else, an imposter maybe. I wish i had the insight to understand the world that you see, maybe then mine might make sense.
@Anonymous My son woke me up this morning. Not the #1 son. He's the #3 son. I just can't help letting this wonderful opening pass by. I'm on oxygen treatment right now. What does that mean? It means my body is not drawing enough oxygen from a normal environment, thus I must wear what we fondly refer to as a 'nose hose'. It seems I must have been passed over for getting a morning breath from #1. It's okay. #3 said, 'Mom, your nose hose slipped down.' I said, 'Thanks.' If it had been my #1 son, he would have over-reacted and used duct tape to secure the nose hose; then we could call it an elephant trunk.
Where is the mockery? The One you mention tells the most awesome stories I've ever heard.
@LucifersHand, I understand. I still have a missing year comprised of smaller pinches of time. There's a lot to consider and reconcile. posted by pogamen 7/10/2012
have not seen j for more than 17? years, but bang there he was keeping them at bay. he would not talk to me, all business. he did not like the frozen people wall behind us where (a freind?) voice said send him over there. they lay down chewing on black rubber strips maybe those bungie cords with hooks on the end.
Thank you. You remove all doubt about seeing this. It's from the memory/dream of an ex/rogue Jesuit Priest with fake credentials for LE/military and multiple names/IDs. I saw his photo on TV news recently, south of the border in Mexico. He is deceased. I am dry-eyed about that.
Bungie cords - securing a child's makeshift grave. I try not to hate because of these people.
This blog is pretty much wide open for comments, with the few parameters shown above the comment box. I am deleting every negative comment on this particular page. Go call me a nut or psycho elsewhere in this blog, if you must! :)
ReplyDeleteYou would think, the phone number of the police would be much larger than the lettering of the facebook page !
ReplyDeletePrayers for you every day Ayla ! @ 5:40 I agree its the wrong flyer, it should only have info and police number and pic. The police number should be very large. Just saying !
ReplyDeleteWhy remove my post? You don't like the reminder that you will meet your maker and have to explain to Him what you are doing, how you justify this to yourself? Like I said, I think His justice system is different from yours. This is a disgrace to Ayla.
ReplyDeleteAyla you are so beautiful! I wish Aunt Selena would come to your thread and talk about how beautiful you are. I wish Aunt Selena would come here and defend you, sweet little Ayla. You deserve so much better BEAUTIFUL AYLA!
ReplyDeleteAnon 7:24 - Just for information purposes, a blog owner, or page administrator or anyone running a forum for discussion can and sometimes do delete comments. Although people have the right to free speech, the owner of the blog/forum/page has the right to censor what and how things are stated on their forum. What is allowed to remain is totally at blog owners discretion.
ReplyDeleteFreedom of speech would come into play if you opened your own blog where you would truly be free to say whatever you wished. In which case, you would be free to censor the responses of others at your blog.
We all have freedom of speech, that is true. But we do not have the right to say anything we want when the platform is owned by someone else. Try sending a letter to your local newspaper with profanity in it and see if your "freedom" of speech is edited out before publication! (If they publish it at all). Own the newspaper and you can say anything you wish!
Well said!!
Deletelol. Anon 7:27 pm on 2/27- you don't understand what rights mean or in what ways they can be applied. This is a blog and no one is "breaking people's rights of freedom of speech". maybe you should study up.
ReplyDeleteAyla, praying every day that goodness prevails and you are found and brought home.
I pray in The Name of The Lord Jesus Christ that little Ayla be found soon. Amen.
ReplyDeleteI'm still praying for you baby girl!!! XO
DeleteFirst and last time on this sight. Going back to Answers for Ayla where they seem to have her best interests at heart
ReplyDeleteHer best interest at heart? I can not understand that at all when people say that about that site. Their theory is that she is dead. How is that in Ayla's best interest ever?
DeleteST, hello. I would like to share some of my memories of Ayla; my time spent talking with a friend. Ayla, a very old soul, was my friend before she was born. She is my friend now.
ReplyDeleteThere is a lot I know about the events that affect her life, and I appreciate the opportunity to share some of those on your blog, with your permission.
When I write about the place that is after life (or found in a dream state), I refer to it as 'the other side of the fence' and not 'heaven.' I'm not a psychic or any other popular title that is commonly used, but I respect the Hanson's request to refrain from providing information obtained by less than physical interaction.
There was a photo on this website, but I don't see it now. When I saw the photo, Ayla playing with the toy kitchen, I found that my grieving wasn't over. It hit hard. I'm done grieving now; I no longer care. My family and friends, on the other side of the fence, no longer care. We MIND! So, here goes, I'm ready to share now - a little at a time.
About that photo - I would like to belatedly add a caption for it...
UPGRADE! Ayla using her toy kitchen to make dog food for Dawg! - excerpt from 'truth AND relevance', a book as yet unwritten.
That reminds me... I need to tell about the day Ayla took a nap under the toy kitchen - in the cabinet.
That reminds me... Anyone thinking I will avoid mentioning secrets to protect sensitivities of those involved... Well, I can't do that. Well, I don't plan on doing that... Well, clearly you don't know Ayla!
We (Ayla and I) tried a few things to avoid that leg muscle injury. It didn't work. Yet, I listened to her talk about a windsock. I plan to tell that story, too. I'm saying that if you have secrets that are relevant to LE, events that deserved a truthful explanation, then now is the time to remedy those deficits. There are too many secrets where the truth would have sufficed.
ST, my post may sound cryptic, but I wish to give fair warning to all before I begin sharing in earnest. If you delete my post, I will take that as 'permission not granted' and thank you anyway. I'll check back later in the week.
posted by pogamen on 4/14/12
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Deletego whore your blog on your own blog! You knew this would get deleted, that's why you put "I hope this makes it past moderation."
DeleteSerious question, is that how people pass notes in jail?
Pogamen, I look forward to it. Thanks!
DeleteYou are seriously demented pogamen...Ayla never slept in that kitchen...wow I can't believe people are actually believe this junk!
DeleteWhat in the hell is all of this rambling from this pogamen? I totally just lost any interest in coming to this website for anything other then an eye roll. What a waste of time.
DeleteStill praying for Baby Ayla's safe return!!
Thank you. Many more to come.
ReplyDeleteAyla sat, immobilized, inside her toy kitchen cabinet. As she was climbing out, she reached back and to her left to grab Dawg. It was a long reach and she doubled over herself with a half twist. There is a raised lip on the bottom of the toy cabinet that caught her foot. This is how she hurt her leg muscle.
We talked - we shared thoughts. I heard her words, but didn't understand until I was shown her situation. On the other side of the fence, my kinfolk and Ayla's kinfolk were busy making those connections possible. Our discussion was rather long. I asked who was watching her, why she couldn't have someone call a doctor, and tried to assess the extent of her injury. Her responses made me cry. With adults present, she chose to 'cross the fence' instead of asking for help from her guardians. At this point, through no fault of the adults involved, Ayla felt unloved and tried not to be a burden to others. This is one reason for sharing our experiences now.
I told her that she's just a baby and needs to act like one; cry crocodile tears, and shout 'owie, owie!' She wasn't ready to be so humiliated. She asked what advice I would give an adult. I said, 'Take 2 Tylenol with water, get some sleep, and call a doctor in the morning if it still hurts.'
She said, 'I am kind of tired. I don't have any Tylol. I don't have a phone. I don't know how to use a phone, anyway. I'll just take a nap.'
Five minutes later, Ayla said, 'I can't get to sleep.' I giggled, and said, 'I had that problem when I was young. Actually, I had that problem as a teenager. I guess I still have that problem sometimes. I learned counting sheep doesn't work sowell. Let's try something else.' I could hear her giggles.
I said, 'Reach in front of you and get 2 pretend Tylenol off your kitchen shelf. Fill a pretend cup with water. Don't tell me you can't swallow pretend pills.'
She was excited, and said, 'I can swallow pretend pills!'
I said, 'Okay. Pills, water; and while you settle into your nap, I'm going to tell you a nursery rhyme that teaches numbers and how to use a phone with just two numbers. Any time you see a hand, place your hand over it.'
She thanked me, and I wiped away a few more tears. I told her kin that I should find out where she is and see about this stuff myself, and that she deserves better. I heard dozens of other voices, all saying the same things... 'Told ya... Told you this wasn't right... Didn't I tell ya?' That was Ayla's kinfolk on the other side of the fence, including some of the bravest warriors and Lords. Ayla is considered their equal - for good reason; which is also why they would not take action without her permission.
I recited '10 Little Monkeys' and projected a vision of a cell phone with a finger pressing 9 1 1 each time 'Mama called the doctor.' By the time 6 monkeys were left on the bed, I could sense Ayla falling asleep; but a rush of sadness followed. I asked if she was okay. Her last soft and gentle thought, before going to sleep, 'I miss my Mom.'
She sought a healer as if she were still a disembodied soul. She found sleep as an exhausted toddler. That's improvement.
That reminds me... you'll understand Ayla better after I write about the day she wouldn't get out of the laundry basket!
posted by pogamen on 4/16/2012
Ok, I know this has been up for awhile and I was just rereading stuff. . . these rantings of pogman come across to me as a child molester explaining how he molests little children. . .this is very sick and I can't believe you have been letting this person write on your blog. WTF
DeleteWhether your a man or a woman your words come across to me a a child molester! Since when have child molesters been just men????? Interesting!
Delete@Anonymous 14:33, read your own words, or must I translate them, too?
DeleteYou say '...these rantings of pogman come across to me as a child molester...' and I still question, 'What, exactly, makes you think this was written by a child molester or has anything to do with causing harm to a child?'
You say '...explaining how he molests...' and I replied, 'Your insight sucks - I'm not a man.' There's really no need to explore your insight any further than that. My revelation of my gender simply allowed you to broaden your uneducated horizon and improve your rumor. Before you commented, this page already contained a post that revealed my gender. Maybe a third read is required? What else did you miss? Or add?
Now, you compounded your ignorance with an uneducated response in addition to spelling/grammar errors in an assessment that doesn't permit such luxury. This is how I know you are not a professional, not even a teacher. At this point, it's only fair to say that your comprehension is outclassed and overmatched. Do you yield?
I know you must have the last word, so I'll copy this thread to the page Obscure set up for such things - click on the rightmost button that says 'Find it here...' I'm 'it'.
posted by pogamen 8/2/2012
Backing up to where we first reunited...
ReplyDeleteThere is a refreshing place on the other side of the fence,
between wake and sleep, where I find solitude and stillness.
It's been a long time since I've seen anybody in this place,
until one day...
I heard a faint 'oh!' I opened my eyes and saw the faint
figure of a small female child. She was apologizing for the
intrusion and claimed to be lost.
I asked, 'Where did you come from, and where were you trying
to go?'
She said, 'I just thought about going home, and here I am! I
don't know what happened.'
I said, 'These are dangerous times. It's not good to travel
alone. Tell me where home is and I'll take you there.'
She said, 'No, thank you. No bother.'
I narrowed my eyes and looked at her anew. I grinned and
asked, 'Is this a test? Why do you show your self as a
child?
She showed her self as my dear friend, *****, the creator of
this rejuvenating place. She said, 'No test. I really didn't
mean to come here; it just happened. I was thinking about
'home, sweet home' and thought it would be good to go
someplace safe and ponder my troubles for awhile.'
I said, 'I see why. You stopped here naturally. This pond is
the safest place to be right now, and it is a place of your
own making.'
She smiled and said, 'You're in the deep end! Nobody goes in
the deep end, except you!'
I smiled and said, 'And you. And nobody says 'no bother'
anymore, except you. Since we're both here, is there a
problem I can help with?'
She was silent for a time, and then said, 'I have guilt.'
She quickly explained the complicated reasons for why she
chose her new life, and how her emotions and actions are
countering her original intentions. I kept feeling the need
to pick my jaw up to close my mouth. She's a baby, a
toddler! Babies shouldn't have intentions! I'm leaving out
her specific examples, but the guilt came from 'liking' the
father's household, maybe more than the mother's household.
The guilt came from enjoying a different lifestyle and
expectations.
Everything was so easy; the days flew by so smoothly and
carefree. She had nothing to do, except play. She
contributed nothing significant to this household - all
according to her.
When she finished the comparisons, I was speechless. I said,
'Huh.'
She moaned, 'I thought that, too.'
I said, 'It seems to me that you got lemonade, and you still
have your lemons, too. What's wrong with that?'
She said, 'Huh.'
I said, 'On one side you have city life, on the other side
you have country life. It's like the song from Donnie and
Marie Osmond - which you missed. They sang a duet where
Marie likes country music and Donnie likes rock 'n' roll.
Even though they sing two genres, they can sing about them
in one song.'
She said, 'I like that.'
I giggled, and said, 'You remind me of a smiling purple sock
monkey when you're with your mother, and a free range
chicken when you're with your father.'
She said, 'I don't know if that's to like or not!'
I said, 'Neither do I.'
posted by pogamen 4/18/2012 part one of two
POGAMEN---
DeleteUrgent, can you please email me juststopthelies@yahoo.com?
It's very very very important!
Thanks!
a free range
Deletechicken when you're with your father.'
............
twista placed a chicken on the shrine heap on violette ave. it was filmed by abc and is in archive for a future possible crime tv show. the video is still online. it's one of twista's best cameos as a greiving mother.
@velvet glove, I really have no idea what you're saying. twista?
DeleteReaders do know what a free-range chicken is, right? I expected my stories would attract dirt, but are you saying Trista put a chicken on Ayla's memorial and you think it is because of my writing on this blog? If so, wow.
@velvet glove, I shouldn't leave it like that. Thanks for pointing this stuff out; I really appreciate it. Several commentors have discussed 'chickens' on several pages in several contexts on this blog. I'm not so special. Also, Trista made a few comments using the word 'chicken', more like phrases beginning with the word 'chicken' followed by an assortment of '...'s'. I'm not getting the 'visions of grandeur' vibes that your comment suggests. Those visions are best left to ABC, CBS, and RealityCrimeTV - all a sure place that I don't watch. To puff on the hammered glue, any one of the 'chicken' stories on this blog would be therapeutic to Trista's needs. Therefore, I doubt she has read any of them and literally placed chicken for her own symbolic meaning. I continue to hope she keeps trying to get healthy. That was Ayla's greatest concern.
Deletei was meerly pointing out that Trista, whose own moniker on myspace is Twisted Sista, placed a chicken on the 'shrine' at Violette Ave and it was filmed and archived for a future possible crime tv show.
Deleteif you watch the footage, (it is online), you might note she milks her performance for all it's worth, it's just the first of many 'over exaggerations' as the J$A people call her over the top tabloid theater.
obviously, the stuffed animal chicken was placed there before your comment.. how else could i have pointed it out?
she put the chicken there when she had finished speaking with Waterville PD, it might even have been the very day Ayla was reported missing, though i can't recall at the moment.
at any rate, it was verrry early on.
you mentioned a chicken..i thought you might like to know where i saw one in Ayla's 'story'.
isn't there supposed to be some real life significance in your stories? why else are you sending them to PD as 'tips'?
if your stories are simply for entertainment purposes without any real life connections then i don't get sending them to the police?
attract dirt?
wow. i sure hope you aren't referring to me.
@velvet glove, thank you for more explanation. I don't read other blogs, watch videos, or visit personal sites. You refer to things that I don't know firsthand. Early on - I was in the hospital and didn't get news of anything. Your first post made me think Trista added a real store-bought in-the-package chicken to the pile. That's disgusting. But... If I thought really bad things about the father of my missing child, there's no telling what I might have left/done. I thought, early on, Trista and Father Ronald were told not to come to Waterville.
DeleteI don't send these stories to LE as tips. I sent the framework for what I've seen and believe. I have not been contacted by LE for any further information or explanation. That's a shame, but I will persistently encourage others to do the same.
I do have to say that my 'chicken phrase' occurred first, because Ayla wasn't missing when we spoke about her 'guilt'.
dirt - no, I am not referring to you. Never. Imagine the Trista scene now, the way it seemed to me. TV dirt.
posted by pogamen 8/2/2012
And that brings us back to the laundry basket...
ReplyDeleteAyla decided to press buttons with her caregivers, putting
them to the test. She wanted to know what would happen if
she misbehaved. She would take a stand (she sat) and not
give in (she didn't get out) when she was told to do
something (anything) else. She climbed into the laundry
basket and ignored the adults when each told her to do
something else - like play with the other kids.
Ayla insisted that it wasn't a laundry basket, but she
didn't know what it was called. It looked like a laundry
basket to me, sitting on a table of some sort - kitchen or
end table - with Ayla as single occupant along with some of
her belongings.
While the female adults politely asked her to get out or go
do something else, they did not follow up with any other
action or words. Father came home. One of the females talked
with him about how he needs to be more involved with Ayla.
He is like any other individual. Once he knows expectations,
he has no problem meeting others' needs. After listening to
the tale of one reticent daughter, he thought about his
approach to the situation. While you may say that the
problem didn't need to be over-dramatized, you would be
wrong. I applaud Ayla's father for what he did. He won her.
He decided to use reverse psychology, and told Ayla not to
get out. He countered everything the women had told her to
do, and told her to stay right there.
Ayla promptly got out. Her father reached down to pick her
up, and she was prepared for something - a spanking, a
beating, something. He knelt down and sat her on his knee.
He said, 'What am I going to do with you?... We're two of a
kind.' [paraphrasing]
Ayla reported back to me soon afterward. She wanted me to
know that everything is okay. I was shown what happened and
what was said. Ayla said, 'See? He doesn't know what to do,
either! Mom and Dad are the same! Neither one knows what to
do. They both need me! They both need my help!'
She was right. This beautiful lady, now toddler, defined
'love' and effectively ended that circular discussion ages
ago. I don't know why I didn't see it. Love - satisfying
the need to be needed is it's essential core.
posted by pogamen 4/18/2012 part two of two
pogaman,
ReplyDeleteI find I rather like your writings.
I agree, S.
DeleteIt makes me want to read more.
Deleteme too, Selena
DeleteIt would figure that Selena would want to hear more from this pervert!
Delete@ Anonymous14:37
DeleteWhy would you say that? You dont know me or Pogamen.How does that figure?? You have some real anger issues. Seek help.
I love how the person complaining about freedom of speech is annonymous.
ReplyDeletepart one of two
ReplyDeleteAbout the windsock...
Our next, and last, get-together at the 'pond' was just as memorable as the first. In the meantime, my kinfolk were teaching Ayla's kinfolk about how they watch over family, what can and cannot be done, and offered any advice that might be helpful. Obadiah, a Master Teacher, was instrumental in explaining procedures and protocols. A respect for others and regard for consequences is essential. He had willing students, who already had a sound base in ethics. This is more information than what is necessary for anyone reading this post. So...
Ayla and I enjoyed chatting about how everything is different, yet the same. I asked her if she got an etch-a-sketch yet. That's an exception to sameness; it demands first-time perfection. At least with a stick and dirt, you can erase only the mistake. The etch-a-sketch forces you to erase more than the mistake. We talked about yo-yos, hoola hoops, slinkies, spring soap bubbles, summertime water pistols, on and on.
Ayla started talking about windsocks. She knew things about windsocks that I'd never heard of before - history, what the shapes and colors symbolized, on and on. I said, 'That's more than I could ever want to know about windsocks!'
She said, 'That's how I feel about it, too.'
I said, 'TMI... too much information. It's like a curse these days.'
She said, 'Speaking of curses, what do you know about the tooth fairy?'
posted by pogamen 4/23/2012
part two of two
ReplyDeleteI sat, speechless, unsure which direction to take this discussion. Then I thought about my own words - TMI. I thought about Obadiah's teachings... there is no one age to share information. If children ask a question, they deserve an honest answer. I responded, 'I thought the tooth fairy was for children losing their baby teeth. You're getting yours now. Why do you ask?'
Ayla said, 'Exactly! They say the tooth fairy pays money for baby teeth when they come out. Everyone thought I was going to lose a tooth, but I didn't, and I didn't get any money for a hurt tooth. I wondered about that. What does the tooth fairy do with all those teeth?'
I shrugged.
She said, 'I think I figured it out. The tooth fairy must be recycling. He collects the old teeth, cleans them up, and gives them to other children. It's the only thing that makes sense to me.'
[She told me an old tale about a man in a forest that was called a 'shoe fairy'. Even though I had heard the tale - a grieving man that lost a child (lock-jaw) and worked to ensure no other child died for lack of hard-soled shoes. I had never heard the tale in
such detail before.]
Ayla asked, 'Would you happen to know the tooth fairy?'
I said, 'Not that I'm aware of.'
She said, 'If you find someone that does, can you ask them to deliver a message for me?'
I said, 'Yes.'
She asked, 'Can you help me write one?'
I said, 'What do you want me to write?'
She said, 'I'm sorry you are cursed [pronounced cur - sed]. Someone has made a mistake. You are giving me the wrong teeth. These teeth are too big for me. I don't want the message to sound mean or rude. I just want the fairy to know there is a mistake.'
I said, 'I understand. As soon as I get back home, I'll write it down. If you're correct, you may be seeing the tooth fairy pretty soon. There's a spot opening up for the next tooth!'
I told her about a tooth fairy memory of my own. I got an IOU, signed by the tooth fairy. I was so proud of that little piece of paper. Anybody can get a coin, but how many children does the tooth fairy trust to delay payment? My mother mentioned the tooth fairy was coming back around one night and told me to put the IOU under my pillow. I was upset, and hid the note in my dresser drawer. I could hear noises in my room that night, but couldn't wake up enough to tell the tooth fairy that the IOU is better than a coin. The next morning, the IOU was gone, and I found a nickel and a dime under my pillow.
I told Ayla not to be disappointed if the tooth fairy was in and out before she woke up.
About that windsock... Was Ayla talking about a book? Did someone read a book about windsocks to Ayla? Was there ever a windsock installed at any home she lived in? I was just wondering. It's this type of thing that you don't really stop to ask about, yet it became relevant.
posted by pogamen 4/23/2012
I got a message from Ayla soon after - delivered by messenger, not a projection from Ayla. Her voice, her words, a three-second picture, infused with her emotion, and the ability to send a response.
DeleteHer message - 'I got a doodle! I figured it out! It's not the same! It's OK to make mistakes. Nobody notices until you have too many mistakes. That's when you erase everything and start over! - part one of two parts.
I was in the process of researching for an argument against genetically modified crops. Sometimes it's really rough to turn that mental hat around. The picture was appreciated; Ayla sitting at a table and studiously focused on something that looked like an etch-a-sketch, with other children active in the background. I smiled, and said, 'Part two.'
Her message - 'I talked to somebody new. He says he knows you, and called you Gramma. He said to tell you to make with the tens, Gramma. - part two of two parts.
It was one of those moments that raised up my spirit. But, communication has proven dangerous. I don't want to encourage her, but I don't want her to think they're an enemy. I began to compose a reply; strike emotion and kiss - keep it simply stupid. If a messenger is intercepted, it's better to shoot the messenger.
And then my messenger spoke. Messengers don't speak, but this one did. He asked, 'Oh, you would wound me? Certainly you don't think a little feather such as your self would kill me, do you? I can't wait to see what you shoot me with. Is this a test? I'm ready; take your best shot.' He is my Uncle Cole (and resides on the other side of the fence). I'll skip over our pleasantries, personal discussion, and move forward with this. He took my advice about how it's better to learn a business from the bottom up, so he accepted the role of a charmed mechanization. Nobody would ever think to start at that level, but Cole did. As an added benefit, I got my cake, ate it, and it cost me nothing. He knew what emotions and pictures needed to be imparted, and when.
My return message - I need to go back to school and get smarter before I see you again! I never would have figured it out. - part one of two parts.
My return message - 'Make with the tens -it's like saying Aloha. You can also say this - Don't flatten yourself. Close the door on these people, do it now.'
Ayla understood.
[I left this interaction out of the earlier post because of mentioning the the 3-second photo.]
posted by mamamen 6/3/2012
oops. just one 'the' required on that last line. I did the 'double the' on an earlier post. Since they're spread out over time and space, the mistakes should be OK, as is.
Deleteposted by mamamen 6/3/2012
as you might know windsocks are used at the airport to tell a plane how to land, what the crosswinds are like so they can make a good landing approach and get their wing flaps right. (not a pilot obviously).
Deletethe airport close to violette ave was mentioned in the first reports of Ayla's disappearance as a possible location for searching for her body. it was considered a prime location due to proximity, easy access and secluded nature.
@velvet glove, thank you, again. I saved your comment to consider your words for awhile. Your wording tugged at a memory. Do you know who actually searched the beeline area from Ayla's home to the airport? FBI or State or 3rd party?
DeleteIt's not the windsock, there's parts of each story I didn't tell - the windsock is like a connector. My Q's were meant to be rhetorical, but I didn't finish the story to explain that.
Here we go, cryptic again... Why was #5 in the car?
Sounds like you should lay off the sauce!
Delete@ S., the space between, Selena Johnson, and Really?...
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words.
posted by pogamen 05/03/2012
@ Anonymous Apr 21, 2012 06:44 PM...
ReplyDeleteDid'ja get what ya came for? Or did'jor eye roll stop, too?
posted by pogamen 05/03/2012
@ Seriously? Apr 18, 2012 12:37 PM who posted...
ReplyDelete"You are seriously demented pogamen...Ayla never slept in
that kitchen...wow I can't believe people are actually believe
this junk!"
I like that name - Seriously?
Thank you for making me smile. As the events of Ayla's abduction unfolded, I used that word a lot. I should have counted the number of times I said things like that... Are you serious? Really? You gotta be joking? Somebody is yankin' on ya! On and on, over and over... Did you know that there is a Lord named Sirius?
In the place that we meet, one day I heard, "Why does she keep calling my name?" In this place, distance and time are not the same. Nobody was actually 'here', yet the words were spoken with such power that it felt as if Sirius was standing beside me, in my home. Then I found myself repeating, 'That's not what I meant!' I heard, 'What do you mint?' I avoided idle chat and redundant questions after that.
So... am I seriously demented, or jokingly demented? I told Sirius there's a new mint liquor that he should try if he gets a chance to live as a human. This is what must be done if they wake up; they need a life before they take a look around. I think your comment is contrived! It conveniently opened the door for me to tell you a little bit more of the story! Is that you, Sirius?
Another time, I would have asked you to pog with me, since you seem so sure of yourself, but you would lose on just one point. Ayla sure did take a nap in that toy kitchen. Check your caregiver facts. I have zero doubt about that. In fact, after her nap, she tried to ask her father to recite the rhyme because she forgot some of the words. I know he checked her bed for monkeys. I'm not saying anything else (I'm failing the straight-face test - more about that BS later). She had forgotten some of the words, and was trying to get the right words from him after that nap. Honestly, I don't know the copyrightable words of the nursery rhyme, but this is what I taught her... 10 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head, mama called the doctor and the doctor said, no more monkeys jumping on the bed. 9 little...
Seriously? Can you sense that I am okay with whatever you chose to think of me?
posted by pogamen 05/03/2012
JustStopTheLies,
ReplyDeleteI thank you for allowing me to share my fondest memories of Ayla. It isn't something that I would normally do, but this is hardly normal circumstances. I feel better... healthier... given the ability to share the best of times with others that care about her. I know this because you took the time to read my ramblings without criticism - it's certainly not well-written.
I'm going to need to tell the rest of the story, but I prefer not to do that on Ayla's page.
Posted by pogamen 05/03/2012
Thank you for sharing your story of Ayla, pogamen. Please let us know where we can read the rest of the story when you have written it.
ReplyDeleteI thank you as well Pogamen, and I too want to hear the rest of the story.
ReplyDeleteI truly hope that we get to read the rest of the story. It is a good story.
ReplyDeleteI am deeply touched by the spirit in your words, pogamen. It is so moving to read about the kinship between you and Ayla.
ReplyDeletePogamen
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say last night ws the first time I have read any of your story and i am very interested in hearing more. Could you tell me where I might find more of it. I am very touched with how you speak of Ayla.
A message to all, for the sake of clarity...
ReplyDeleteI had to read my own words, again, to ensure that I didn't give the false impression that I would write a book about Ayla. My words are not misleading. There will be a book about Ayla ('truth AND relevance'), but I am not the author. It hasn't been written yet, but I have already read it. Stories of my interaction with Ayla were not there, because I was too busy to share. The book had more questions than answers, because there would be no closure for another 20 years. I have some of those answers.
We are there for each other when one stumbles. We look for each other when one passes. We raise each other up when one is weakened. We move on to the next crisis without expectations or acknowledgement of any kind.
Don't you see? We are all contributing to this book by posting online. There really is an author, but he may not know it yet. The author will know what to do with my words.
You don't need to go anywhere else to read the rest of my story. The JSTL administrator has given me permission to post on this website. To date, none of my posts have been deleted or altered. I pog right here, in public.
Now that I have 'outed' Jude on another page, I'll come back to Ayla's page (later this week) to write about our conversation about Jude.
posted by pogamen 5/13/2012
Pogamen,
ReplyDeleteI'm confused... Who is Jude and on what page did you 'out' them? Thank you again for sharing with us. Do you mean to say that we will not have closure in Ayla's case for another 20 yrs? The thought of that makes my heart hurt.
On our last meeting at the pond, a messenger was sent to find Peter (yes, the apostle) - the man over mind. Ayla and I were needed, and nobody could wade into the pool without suffering from the charms' affects. Peter got knee-deep before he returned to shore. Still, I felt his presence, and could tell that he was trying to keep a secret from me. I didn't pry, and Ayla and I went to shore, too. I reassured Peter that his secret was intact. He told us how sure he was of his own mind, and now not so sure.
ReplyDeleteAyla got a laugh out of all that. I was forbidden to return to the pond until further notice. Ayla was 'politely forbidden' to return, unless the need urged her to do so, or her father (of her soul) requested it of her. Ayla thought Peter got it all backwards. She's the kid, I'm the adult. I told her that we get our lives handed to us in an upside-down manner, sprinkled with plenty of backwards; but when she is older, she'll understand.
We returned to Ayla's house and I spoke to Jude for a moment. He said he would like to speak with Ayla and asked me to pave the way for him. I told him to be prepared for a smart one. He said, 'It's been a long time since I told my stories.'
I said, 'Leave out the horse story.'
He asked, 'Which one?'
I said, 'Now that you mention it... All of them.'
Ayla and I sat outside for awhile. Jude and his companions were already there and working overtime. I pointed in their direction and asked Ayla, 'What do you see?'
She saw a bird, a tree, the sun was bright, and clouds were too low. I told Ayla there is someone that would like to speak with her, with her permission, of course. I asked, 'Has anybody told you about Jesus, yet? Do you know how important he is?'
Ayla's usual smile faded into the most solemn, devout, serious face I have ever seen attached to a toddler. 'Staid' is the word. She used this face and nodded her head, just once, while saying, 'Yes, I know about Jesus Christ.' I nearly forgot what I planned to say; so goes the struggle to keep a STRAIGHT FACE!!!
I turned and sat beside her so that her demeanor wasn't controlling my attention.
I said, 'That's good. That'll make this easier. Before Jesus was born, the angels told his Mother to name him Jesus. He had another really long life before that. It's good he got a new name otherwise we might not know where one life ended and the other began. Before He was named Jesus, His name was Jude. It would have been easy to mix up stories because there were so many people named Jude at the time.
Ayla's face lit up. She said, 'I know Jude! Jude rocks! He told me a lot of stories about all the ways to cross a river! Catch a rhino; Christians later.'
I asked, 'Did he tell you about anagrams, mnemonics, and how every little thing is a reminder for a complete story?'
Ayla said, 'Yes.'
I asked, 'And where does Jude stand?'
Ayla replied, 'Somewhere to the right or left of middle.'
I asked, 'Ayla, did he tell you about the horse?'
She shook her head, and said, 'No'. She thought about it for a moment and then said, 'No, no horse.'
I smiled.
Later, I thanked Jude for not sharing the horse stories with Ayla, and asked why he didn't wait on that. He said, 'There's no reason.'
posted by pogamen 5/18/2012
@ Tomato Soup
ReplyDelete19 yrs 7 mos from May 2012, subject to change at any moment
@ anyone reading
I'm still looking for the right words to finish the next post - I should have marked the last post 'one of two'. Defining 'right words' - This is not about me, my family, or friends; it's about Ayla. Sometimes it's difficult to separate the events and still have the words make sense. Yet, sometimes the separation is found by choosing the proper 'three words or less'. I'll work on it this weekend.
posted by pogamen 5/24/2012
Thank you for the update pogamen. I check back here often to see if you've posted something.
DeleteWell, some of this story is about me, my family, and friends. It's just mostly about Ayla. ABR. If this is what it takes to get real people real help, I'm prepared to share why ABR got the full-service, luxury treatment of individual attention from so many Lords and companions on the other side of the fence. [Please don't make me call them angels.] The Boss was involved, too. [Is this a secret? He prefers the title, 'Overseer', not God.] I just want you to realize that there is a reason - a big reason; a really big reason.
ReplyDeleteSo... When Jude said 'There's no reason', that got my wheels churning, my claws sprouting, and a low scimitar growl started growing in the deepest recesses of my gut. It's best not to say anything until the mood passes, so I mentally tossed it around, trying to find context for his words - spoken so nonchalantly.
When I was able, I finally asked, 'Would you please care to explain to me why there is no reason? I asked for your expertise; is that not enough reason?'
Jude asked, 'What's your problem? What are you talking about?'
I said, 'It's what you said! What do you mean by that - there is no reason?'
Jude thought about it and asked, 'Are you talking about when you first got here? The first thing I said?'
I said, 'Yes.'
He asked, 'And you're just now getting around to asking about it?'
I growled, 'Yes.'
He asked, 'Have you heard a word I've said since then?'
I said, 'No. If there's no reason, then why should I?'
Jude could have ridiculed me a thousand times over for what I said, and he didn't. Maybe, if the situation wasn't so serious, he might have poked fun - and maybe not.
Jude said, 'That's not what I said. I said there's no raisin.'
Another back-and-forth conversation between Jude and me-dummy took place, because I still didn't know what he meant. He ended it by saying, 'I'm not going to provide sex education for you; ask your boyfriend.' Okay. I did, much later. I still don't see what that has to do with sex education, even though I had it explained to me several times. Jude was saying that Ayla had pre-natal difficulties and he stayed with her until the lack of an umbilical cord connection could be corrected. So, the raisin is the part of the cord that dries up and falls away from the newborn. Please don't ask me about the sex education aspect.
Anyway, this is how Jude found time to tell his stories to Ayla before I met her, and how Ayla met Jesus. It's confusing, I know, they are one - but not the same. Ayla knew there was something wrong with Trista, and asked for help. Ayla was right, the damage to Trista's soul is extensive and severe. The damage occurred a very long time ago, during a war that still rages in some places. She endured torture of a type that I can't speak or write about. Her bravery leaves me humbled - awestruck. On the other side of the fence, there is not one warrior that doesn't feel the same.
On the other side of the fence, a long time ago, Trista was Ayla's daughter. That is the relationship between the two souls. They are also a remarkable couple, because Ayla chose to maintain the mother-daughter bond when it became fashionable to sever that bond in favor of the father-child bond. All of these things occurred before my existence. There are a rare few [viable souls] that remain as old as that, mostly due to war. I'm telling you this, because we were unable to locate Ayla's father (of her soul) on either side of the fence. These are some of Uriel's people. They've been gone a long time, fighting. We encourage them to make themselves at home here. If for no other reason, it's time to get a new birthday suit!
[this is part two of an unknown number of parts]
posted by pogamen 5/28/2012
quite interesting.
DeletePogamen, Ayla has known Jesus all her lives. Ayla is more than we could ever be !
Delete@Unknown Soul
DeleteThat's what we've been trying to tell people!
She met Him 'pre-natal' in this life.
Here's the other part of what we've been trying to tell people...
Ayla, and many others, lived long before Jesus was born and died. Some of them know him as Blessed Jude. As they learn, the big lesson that is resoundingly clear - man killed Jesus. Think about that. Is that TMI?
posted by mamamen 6/4/2012
@ Pogaman, No, not TMI ! Thought about it. Question - Was it not God's plan for man to kill Jesus ?
DeletePogamen or whatever you call yourself you should seek psychiatric help. . . I agree that you sound like a child molester.. maybe you do know more about Ayla. . . .
DeleteNo. The understanding is so complex, and this blog is the wrong forum for such discussions.
ReplyDeleteOnly 'yes' if you accept life after life; and therefore, man could not have killed Him at all. That argument fades with man's revisional history - you only have one life to live.
Middle ground thinking - They didn't want His son. If you hear a voice, or receive a vision, do you know who you're talking to? The answer is resoundingly - 'no'. He was supposed to change something for a different outcome, but He thought prophecy was meant to be. It is not.
'Based on Jesus' discussion with Ayla.'
This is just too complex to explain His words and emotions - mostly emotions.
posted by mamamen 6/5/2012
Understanding, not the Forum. Your words lead me to the question. Just trying to understand the Spirit of you words ! I have seen your Cole, He spoke to me and said "you have to go back ", Years ago ! I have some "thought images", Your words are helping me to understand them ! Thank you for sharing. Later
DeleteYes. He said that. Cole is the name I gave him for public use. Everything you heard and saw involves ABR. This page is the proper forum for that. It's been so long, I'll try to remember the whole discussions.
DeleteTo tie loose ends on the first topic - Jesus and Ayla, this is what He said to her...
She is right! You are a smart one. [Ayla blushed.] You're helpful, too. [Ayla smiled.] In fact, you helped me figure out something I've been thinking about for a long time now. [Ayla asked, 'I did?'] Yes. You are good at figuring things out. That is one of your many talents. [Ayla said, 'Thank you.] Don't thank me, I should be thanking you.
Unknown Soul, we couldn't find ABR's father (of her soul). She would have to regress or have someone care for her to hold her gains (evolution). It is my domain to authorize an adoption on the other side of the fence. Cole was not approved lightly. He said he was willing to die for her, and I did order him to prove it. He did. He went back and lived a life as human. He did much more than that for her.
"you have to go back" Do you have illness? Did that apply to you also? Cole doesn't make meaningless statements. If so, please take care of your health.
"you have to go back" Ayla was out of body, and stayed with Cole because of what was happening to her. I had no intention of leaving her there alone, but I got sick.
Years ago - thought images... most everything I see is pre-knowledge, and still we can't get ahead of the crime. You could very well be her abductor, and it would not change my comments to you one bit.
posted by mamamen 6/6/2012
@ mamamen, Not abductor, Just an unknown Soul who received spiritual incite that a little girl would be brought to my attention, just before I got sick in October. Someone must have spoken the words in October to set that in motion. This little girl came with an ELK. (Then in December! "Ayla".)
DeleteMy first near death in this life was at age 9, I awoke different, I did not understand it until I was 12, then I knew I was being lead by spirit. Still growing . " Crazy " I'll own it also, I am different and know it and many cannot understand, but some do !
@Unknown Soul, the abductor vistits and posts on this site, too, so please don't take offense at my comment. It doesn't change my words; I'm sure your understand. If I remember something in perp's possession, I make sure to mention it within my posts. This way, perp can remove 'said' item so that LE can't get a search warrant. That Kindle Fire had to hurt! Perp will be moving soon (come closer, said the spider to the fly).
DeleteELK - I saw enormous black 3-D letters. I'll have to think about it. I had too much information, but I don't think this one has happened yet. Meditate, mentally focus on the strongest image and let it unwind for you. Don't force it, don't try to interpret, don't assume anything, and never think it is personal or symbolic. Next, don't become fixated on discovery to the point of neglecting the ones you love.
posted by mamamen 6/10/2012
ELK - mother is a computer graphics designer home worker, unsure about own business or employed. Father works regular job(LE? or legal beagle?). Father will read your comments and take precautions. Warning: Father, don't stifle your daughter with a heavy hand of protection. This is 2012. I couldn't bring all the 'info' back by myself. I let go of children info that had the most time between now and future. Can you remain diligent without warring with her? Cole chose 'Unknown Soul' because of a crossroads with ELK. I don't know what the connection is right now, but it may be this website.
DeleteUnknown Soul -> When children pass away/cross over, there's a few questions asked before checking lineage. Is this you? ...
Question - When were you born?
Answer - Yesterday!
Was that you? I think that was you. If so, there's no near death about it. You did die. As with most infants, unless there's too much damage, you were 'put back' a little bit. They don't know much about age of children, lucky answer for you at the age of nine!
posted by mamamen 6/12/2012
@ mamamen "Thought Image's" Ayla has appeared in the Green Pj"s in Dec., then in different clothing in Jan.,pants and shirt, she was missing her sock ! She also appeared in a pink bunny suit with wings. She shows a camp, with Elk head over door? Maybe inside over mantle? Some of the image's are of creatures unknown to me. Always near Ayla.
DeleteLineage - that is when I met your cole, was seeking lineage, mine cannot be found ! Unknown Soul
All familiar. I only saw Ayla in a white t-shirt and couldn't tell if she wore pants, shorts or none. I saw one bare foot, and not the other. The white t-shirt was several sizes too big for Ayla. The t-shirt came from the perp.
DeleteI want to say - continue if you are healthy, because you are on the right track - but not for Ayla. I should say - please stop, because your lineage is with Cole, but it was not. He told me I wasn't gonna believe this. I'll spend some time pondering the ramifications. There's something else you should know. pogamen@hotmail.com
posted by mamamen 6/14/2012
@Unknown Soul - Yes! I remember some of that, now. On a more personal level, I am grateful to you for your understanding.
ReplyDeleteposted by mamamen 6/7/2012
U people are truly fricken nutty!!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous who says... U people are truly fricken nutty!!
DeleteYes. Thank you. I accept full nuttihood for myself and anyone else who dares contribute to a larger picture. Anonymously sharing this aspect of my life with an anonymous public on back pages of a stranger's blog is TRULY (u word) the nuttiest thing I've ever done. (I refute the fricken, though. I don't know what it means.)
It doesn't make any difference, one way or the other, so it's best to suit myself - and I have NEED. I've been waiting for you to get here. I need help, and this is serious.
Please read this and offer your best non-nutty advice. Please.
Here's the problem... I've seen hundreds of crimes committed, some against children and some not. I've seen them in detail. I take the info and mentally wrap it around the individual's initials. There's too much info to write down, and some new details emerge as crossroads are met. Soon, there will be another high profile abduction take place. I know the child's name, some of the circumstances, poor approximate date based on observations, and unknown specific location. It takes place in broad daylight, and two children are stolen - not one.
What would you, a non-nutty observer, do? Who would you tell? Would you then be at fault for causing the abduction? How would you tell (if you would tell)? Or would you go about about your life as if still blissfully ignorant?
I don't need sugar coating. Throw me those nuts anyway you want.
posted by mamamen 6/7/2012
I have read this page top to bottom and you certainly have my attention. As to the question if you knew something was going to happen and to whom what would you do with the information. The knowledge of something such as an abduction and knowing that if society was open minded this could be prevented. However if you say something then you either look like your crazy or guilty. Either way you loose cause nothing get looked into until after the event takes place. Then you end up the number one suspect when it does happen. It ends up a no win situation for you or your family.
DeleteCUL8TR, thank you, but I'm insured against risk to myself and family. If you care to make it a mental exercise, move deeper and closer to the nexus, then consider this -> '... if society was open minded this could be prevented...'
ReplyDeleteDo you see how that statement is not true? We do have an open-minded society, very open. Hint - if someone can see this, what else can they see? 'Oh, shit! There's something I gotta take care of!' I hear that a lot.
Posting on this blog - I call it the 'fingernails across the chalkboard approach'. Anybody? Anybody without nuts got advice?
posted by mamamen 6/9/2012
Mamamen, I believe you should not be so concerned about yourself and how others will judge you. Let LE know your story. Oh btw...I found your one eyed dog. :). If you wish to know where she is, comment here and I will tell you who has her.
DeleteAnonymous, thank you, but I really need no-nuts. I'll probably pre-report the next big crisis to FBI. Based on their performance, it doesn't give me warm fuzzies. Based on the TV interview with the Anchorage FBI Missing Persons 'Clerk', it gives me cold chills. I think the most I'm going to get out of it is the right to tell them, 'Told ya so.' On the other side of the fence, they have no crossroads to work with to rescue the two children once there. Understand?
DeleteAll-knowing all-seeing eye dog - I don't need to know where he is. I added another comment to that page. I hope LE checks it out - TJP. It has to stop. Ayla's deeds may be enough.
Anonymous, there is only one soul that has any right to judge me. In His absence, the right falls to my Father. I'm not worried about what people think of me. In the past, I've tried the direct approach with LE - boy, a new bundle of unbelievable stories. Even eye-witness (no spirit stuff) accounts, they only wanted to hear what they already wanted to know about. Can you believe that?
posted by mamamen 6/16/2012
mamamen - I'm curious what you think of this site, in particular the tarot reading of 12/29.
ReplyDeletehttp://empathysinsights.blogspot.com/2012/01/ayla-reynolds.html?spref=fb
@the space between, I don't know anything about Tarot cards and readings, except that it's more complicated than what most people think. I did look at the reading (last week?) and copied the text to a file so I can study it in detail. I haven't done that yet. Are you able to do another reading for Ayla, or does it work that way?
DeleteI was just wondering... Why do you use tarot cards? You ARE an empath. I guess I don't understand, but it's your business. You have familial support willing to gather the information for you. They don't need to understand, they only need to let your question guide them to the answer. Your support team is limited by the language of tarot and it's significance to you. They aired a grievance about having to break time for a reshuffle when they get the order upside down. I told them the tarot cards are like training wheels on a bicycle for you, and they should continue with the card language until you no longer require them.
posted by mamamen 6/10/2012
mamamen - I don't use tarot. Someone posted a link to that site somewhere else and I found that particular reading interesting... in part because there was a Michael mentioned here awhile back. I have had other cards read for me before, and I've been to mediums several times over the years... and I find that what an intuitive person comes up with is typically clearer with the less information I give. I have, personally, found mediumship more valuable. At times I have been empathic, but I asked to not have that sense anymore as I was getting my insights mixed up with my worries. My first experience with a medium was a woman of about 90, amazing - she said I was a healer.
Delete@the space between -> Now I see clearly! Well, the saying goes... use 'em or lose 'em! I'm not one for whiny complainers. It's good that you don't use your talents - I chastised your familial support group and told them to commit to a tarot reader! ROFLMAO
DeleteNow I understand their comments/complaints. You still confuse me, but I can use a little less understanding right now.
posted by mamamen 6/10/2012
Pogamen...you have well and truly captured everyone's attention. Your words offer connection, and hope. I have had many spiritual experiences and like unknown soul I had a near death experience at 9 which left me feeling...like someone else, an imposter maybe. I wish i had the insight to understand the world that you see, maybe then mine might make sense.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to reading more of your "words".
How dare all of you make a mockery of the One who woke you up and gave you breath this morning!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteMy son woke me up this morning. Not the #1 son. He's the #3 son. I just can't help letting this wonderful opening pass by. I'm on oxygen treatment right now. What does that mean? It means my body is not drawing enough oxygen from a normal environment, thus I must wear what we fondly refer to as a 'nose hose'. It seems I must have been passed over for getting a morning breath from #1. It's okay. #3 said, 'Mom, your nose hose slipped down.' I said, 'Thanks.' If it had been my #1 son, he would have over-reacted and used duct tape to secure the nose hose; then we could call it an elephant trunk.
Where is the mockery? The One you mention tells the most awesome stories I've ever heard.
posted by pogamen 7/10/2012
@LucifersHand,
ReplyDeleteI understand. I still have a missing year comprised of smaller pinches of time. There's a lot to consider and reconcile.
posted by pogamen 7/10/2012
have not seen j for more than 17? years, but bang there he was keeping them at bay.
ReplyDeletehe would not talk to me, all business. he did not like the frozen people wall behind us where (a freind?) voice said send him over there.
they lay down chewing on black rubber strips maybe those bungie cords with hooks on the end.
Thank you. You remove all doubt about seeing this. It's from the memory/dream of an ex/rogue Jesuit Priest with fake credentials for LE/military and multiple names/IDs. I saw his photo on TV news recently, south of the border in Mexico. He is deceased. I am dry-eyed about that.
DeleteBungie cords - securing a child's makeshift grave. I try not to hate because of these people.
j = Jesus
posted by pogamen 8/3/2012
This sounds horrific...
ReplyDelete@Selena - Yes.
Delete